Confidence to be a Single Parent
Becoming a successful and happy single parent requires you to have self confidence to start with.
For many single parents, this is not usually the case. Some single parents have lost their self esteem simply by the nature of how they became single. There is always doubt in oneself, after a broken relationship of any kind. Chances are, if you are a single parent due to divorce, you are emotionally battered too; making it even more difficult to see the good in yourself. So for you, self-esteem may be even more difficult. However, please notice I did not say impossible! You can be successful as a single parent, and there are tools to do so. It all begins with your self confidence-even the most minute bit you have at this moment.
Judith Bardwick, a well known sociologist, in her book "Psychology of women: A study of bio-cultural conflicts" wrote, "Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself - your strengths and limitations - in contrast to depending on affirmation from others."
We agree and are repeating what you may have learned from the first article of this series: Advantages of single parenting you must not listen to social stigma that keeps you down or holds your Confidence levels back from feeling good about yourself, and your decisions for your family. Only you can make your own decisions now for what is best for your family.
The first thing that you need to do in order to have more Confidence and become a more successful single parent, is to be more positive in your attitude.
To obtain a positive attitude is your first priority. Your attitude will determine the level of happiness you will achieve as well as your children's happiness. This is a process not an overnight event. You can't worry yourself to death while you are growing into it either. You won't feel "normal" being happy as a single parent, so you just have to get started now. To become a successful single parent, your first step is to make a decision to want to try change.
As you begin this journey, it will be easy to fall back into the trap of focusing only on the negatives of being a single parent; while forgetting that there are also benefits and advantages of being a single parent home. How can you say you are being realistic, if you are only thinking about the negative points of your life.
Concentrate on the negative side of everything, and I guarantee it will become worse. You must examine both sides of any situation and recognize the advantages. You must try to see those disadvantages of single parenting as ways to improve your self and surroundings. Think in a constructive manner, rather than a destructive one to learn and grow, and find ways to use it to your benefits.
Choose Optimism not Pessimism when single parenting
Be aware of the problems in your life, and find solutions. Do not sit around stressfully worrying about something, but doing nothing to prevent or change it. In order to overcome a negative, you must produce a positive balance. Apply this quote to yourself as a single parent family. “Real optimism is being aware of the problems but recognizing the solution." You can even see the worst but expect the best. Why complain when you can choose to smile.” These are just short excerpts but you can learn more from
William Arthur Ward
Here are some questions you need to ask yourself.
Do you feel you need someone else in your life in order to be a good parent? We will assume you said no. Then why would you limit yourself by believing you need a special someone in order to be happy? Do you feel worthless because you are single? We will assume you again said no.
You should be realizing that you are of great worth, both to yourself and children. If you feel that you’re not a full person unless you are part of a couple, then you will never be. You could instead be using your time as a single parent by taking this great opportunity you have been given, just to be yourself with your children; and make everyone more happy, more fulfilled, and closer knit as a single parent household. Your positive attitude will be the first step to finding happiness as a single parent family. So...remember, Confidence takes practice and there is no time like the present to start!
Index of Articles in this series:
Advantages of single parenting
One of the main disadvantages single parents face
Single Parenting Confidence
Leave Parenting Confidence for SPFL Home